Life in Arcos

Just recently there was a break-in at Santa María church (pictured). Thieves fled with adornment jewels which, according to town historian Manuel Perez Regordán, are worth millions of euros.

So how did it happen? Shortly after the robbery took place, people on the street told me it must have been an inside job, given that the jewels (used to decorate one of the many statues the church houses) were kept under lock and key. What’s more, there was an alarm, I was informed.

So the thinking was that somebody in the know must have disabled the alarm and had access to the key.

But now I’m hearing a different story. It seems that the door to the jewels may have been left open. As for the alarm, well there was none.

Regordán, meanwhile, is acting as sleuth. He appears to have a certain connection with - and fondness for - the jewels, and recent editions of the local newspaper have devoted double page spreads to Regordán’s musings on their value and history.

The plot is thickening. Regordán is apparently on the verge of denouncing Santa María’s priest for neglect, which is bound to stir up a hornet’s nest.

I can’t wait to see how this one pans out.

Arcos Información is the name of the local newspaper which comes out every Thursday and costs one euro. It often makes for interesting reading, especially if, like me, you can speak Spanish but don’t know much about what’s going on locally (on the other hand, thanks to Sky News I could tell you all about the floods in England).

There were two items of news which caught my eye in the most recent edition of Arcos Información. The first was the announcement that the final stretch of motorway between Arcos and Jerez was about to be inaugurated (last Friday). And today I had the good fortune to test it out. The motorway cuts the drive time between here and Jerez airport by 10 minutes to just 20 in all. This I found out on the way back from dropping off guests, as on the way I simply couldn’t work out how to get onto the motorway, finding myself instead driving along the old road which runs parallel - and looking jealously across to my left.

The second piece of news concerns the river. The once mighty Guadalete meanders around Arcos much as it always has, except that with the creation of the man-made lake (1962) water flowing into it is regulated. That means it’s little more than a steady trickle in places. There’s no denying that the Guadalete has been neglected, which probably wasn’t the case in the old days when locals used to swim and wash their clothes in it - see the photograph left, which was taken in the 1940s.

But things are looking up. Work starts in September on creating/resurrecting pathways along the riverbank. I’ve always thought the Guadalete an undervalued and underused piece in the Arcos jigsaw, so this is good news for the town. As is the motorway.

Anyone who’s been to Arcos will know how narrow the streets are. Driving can be a nightmare, as I have witnessed first hand and second hand in the last few days.

On Sunday there was the stranded Englishwoman, who had reached the end of her tether. She had driven as far as our street, losing her friend in the car ahead, and was trying to communicate with the hard-accented locals in her non Spanish. Said locals banged on my door and urged me to help.

I climbed into the Englishwoman’s car in the manner of a clumsy Starsky or Hutch, there being no room on either side to open the door, and backed the car into a manageable position. Having by now located her friend by telephone, the Englishwoman regained her senses once again, and drove slowly down the hill. As we said goodbye she called me an angel. Heaven’s above!

Then yesterday, the angel got a puncture. I was edging down super-narrow-street when I came across a moped. Sometimes mopeds turn around, wait at the bottom of the incline and let you through. Other times they squeeze up against the wall and wave you past. But you’ll only have a couple of inches to spare. On this occasion, one of my back wheels came into contact with something sharp on the moped. Bang! Tyre burst.

With the streets being as narrow as they are, anyone wanting improvements done to the outside of their house has to think hard about how to go about it. In our case, we have needed permission to close the street for seven days. But there must still be emergency access should an ambulance need to come up here. So traditional scaffolding is a no-no. In the end we plumped for La Tijera, The Scissor. As you can see in the photo it’s a concertina affair. And it works like a dream.

Finally, for any readers who want their children or grandchildren to learn Spanish, I’m delighted to announce the launch of a new Spanish learning system Emma and I have been heavily involved with. From March 16-18 we’ll be presenting Speekee at the Viva España Show, Olympia, London. And if you fancy coming along for free, we can get you a special pass. Just send a quick email to losporter@gmail.com. We’d love to see you there.

Speekee is a DVD-based Spanish course for children of preschool and primary age. It features Spanish children from here in Arcos, plus puppets, animation and much much more.